I don't even know why this busy bee has a blog. I mean, I really do love to write new posts, but I'm having trouble finding the time to write. I hope this whole thing makes sense.
This year has been the most demanding year of my whole life, by far.
- I had to take 2 overloaded terms, in order to graduate in May (6 courses each), so the homework gets pretty intense sometimes. It's especially hard when I only actually enjoyed 1/6 courses each term.
- I teach 4 nights a week (dance, musical theatre, and Zumba) to pay the bills. I do like my job, but the lesson plans and choreography take up a lot of extra time.
- I got my first-ever role in a musical, which I absolutely love, but that takes 2 days out of my week, sometimes 3. And, I, unexpectedly ended up choreographing a few complicated numbers for the show. I was out of my comfort zone, because the numbers are waltzes, which I know very little about. But, I glow with pride whenever I see the actors doing my choreography onstage at rehearsal.
It's the extra stuff doesn't help. This week, all my teaching jobs were gearing up for their final performances, which is more stressful than usual. Newdale Tap & Jazz has their dress rehearsal tonight, their recital tomorrow, and their final performances at Rolling River Festival of the Arts this-coming Tuesday and Wednesday. They always have me as a "guest dancer" at their recital, so I had to relearn and practice one of my dances for the recital. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a space that allows for that! I also help out with recital preparation, such as figuring out the order of the program, coming up with some sort of small finale...this year, I even found time to make a little themed "mashup" of songs to use for their finale.
Alexander Dance Club has their recital this-coming Wednesday night. These dancers have two "sessions" in a year: one before Christmas, and one after Christmas. So, I had to choreograph and teach the dances extra fast in very few weeks, so we could have them just right for recital.
Mecca Productions has their dress rehearsal on Monday and their final concert on Wednesday. Yep...the same night as Alexander's recital. I hope I can make it back for Mecca's concert, in time for my groups to perform, but I this-past week, I have had Dylan in all my classes (he usually assists with the one, anyway), so he knows which students to look for and what to help them with. Thank goodness for my assistant. :)
The musical I am in had a full weekend rehearsal last weekend, so we were there on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday...and it is the same again this weekend. I'm going to try to make it to my rehearsal after Newdale's dress rehearsal tonight, and I can go to rehearsal before Newdale's recital tomorrow.
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This week had been so crazy that I was forced to ignore a 15-page paper that was due today. So, I stayed up all night last night, finishing my paper at about 7:30 in the morning because that was my only option.
Don't get me wrong, I really do like keeping busy. I thrive off it! But, most of my decisions this year have been based on what is necessary for me to do, not really want I have wanted to do. I know that's how life goes, it's just too bad that I haven't had a day off in a month. Haha.
BUT! I have been looking forward to this-coming Wednesday for weeks because all of my jobs (with the exception of teaching Zumba), wrap up that day. It will be an absolutely crazy day, as I'll be in Rivers for Festival during the day, I'll be in Alexander in the evening, and then I'll be rushing back to Brandon to try and catch Mecca's concert. But, I won't know what to do with all the time I will have afterwards. Oh, wait...final papers and studying for exams! :P That's okay! That just means that I'll feel like I have all the time in the world to do that.
There is a reason why I'm typing all this out, though. I'm not just rambling about how busy I am.
If there is something I have learned about myself, it is that I feel like I really can do the impossible. There have been countless times this year where I have completely broken down. I was even having anxiety problems a few weeks ago. I felt, more than once, that something was not going to get done in time, that it wouldn't be produced with the necessary quality, that there were too many responsibilities on my shoulders, or just that I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I found a way, for the most part, to get everything finished when it needs to be finished, and it is typically of fine quality. In the middle of the night last night, I was completely discouraged. I was only halfway through my paper at about 5:00 a.m. But, I thought about how great I would feel, and how I could reward myself with sleep, once the paper was done.
Unfortunately, this isn't the only test that has shown me how tough I can really be. But, it's these sorts of tests, where you think there's no way of passing, that shows our true potential. It's okay to lack motivation sometimes, that's not what defines you. It's having to create your own motivation when outside sources aren't providing it that shows your true character.
Maybe I have written a blog like this before, but I don't think it really matters. Everyone needs a good reminder of this point, I know that I do very often. I truly believe that it's possible for everyone to be their own superhero. Go ahead, accomplish something, even if it's small. Make yourself proud.
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