Highlights of my Year!

I like to ignore a blog for a year and then write two posts in a night...I'm a bit bonkers.

However, I was thinking, as I went through pictures on my computer, that I have had such a wonderful year. I'm going to go through each month and name the highlights...I encourage whoever reads this to do that! It reminds you of how blessed you really are!

January: The result of a sticky situation (me hitting the ditch) resulted in me leasing a brand new Honda Civic! Her name is Gwen. I like Gwen.

As a side-note, I think I actually got her in February, but allllllll of the other "car stuff" happened in January.

February: The students at in the Faculty of Ed had a spirit week, which ended in a "gym blast." It was supposed to be both years of Senior Years students on one team, both years of Middle Years students on another team, and both years of Early Years students on their own team. It turned out that my class (first year Senior Years, at the time) had so much spirit that all of us (except for maybe 3) came out to compete and we ended up having the same numbers as all of the other groups combined. That was a fun (and competitive) afternoon. 

March: Dylan and I found ourselves an apartment together. I don't think we moved until April, but we got the keys at the end of March. This place certainly feels like a home. :)

April: For the second time, I was able to enjoy being a part of the Strathclair Drama Club's annual production. This year, it was Annie Get Your Gun. Dylan and I got to play an on-stage couple: Tommy Keeler and Winnie Tate, the knife-throwing team. I also got to do some choreography again this year, which warmed me up for my role as co-choreographer (alongside my sister) for the next production of My Fair Lady in 2015. I am so lucky to be able to have such amazing opportunities to be on stage! 

May: I chopped all of my hair off and was able to support Dylan as he completed is B.A. 4-yr Honours Degree (2 completely unrelated things). Such a proud day!

June: I got to see my "baby" cousin and Dylan's little brother graduate from high school! I also got to go see Michael Bublé in concert. What a night! 

July: According to my pictures, I did a lot of canoeing at the lake and swimming in my hometown neighbours' pool. I got to support some of my closest friends' band, and we got started on the play that took place in November.

August: Lots happened in August! More time at the lake and a long-awaited trip to Minot. My sister got engaged in the middle of the month and I was able to take my dad to a football game, to cheer for his favourite team (who happened to win that one...and then didn't win many others after that)!

September: Got started singing with my all-time favourite choir once again and I met some new kittens! I also got to start a new school year with my classmates.

October: Got to be an extra in a movie, had Thanksgiving dinner in the field, turned 22, and carved pumpkins! I also started my 3rd student teaching placement.

November: I finished my placement in the middle of the month and performed in play by the end of the month. The play was overwhelmingly successful and we could not have asked for a better run!

Now, we come to December. So far, I have been finishing up my school work. I have also taken on the job of being in charge of organizing the Christmas Eve service that I have been attending and singing in every year for 16 years. I can only guess that my Christmas is going to be a spectacular one and that yours will be, too. 

Looking at this list, as I mentioned, reminds me of how truly blessed I am. I am now looking forward to 2015 and wondering how I will be feeling as I look back on this blog a year from now!

My "Currently..." Comparison.

It's kind of funny, I checked to see when the last time was that I have used this blog and it was about a year ago. It's interesting to look back at that post and see what has changed since then. Just for fun, I'm going to do the exact same type of post, to see how it compares to what's going on in my life right now! 

Currently...

Watching: Due to the fact that I still don't have cable or Netflix (I had Netflix for a while...then I had to delete it), I have to resort to YouTube for T.V. I have gone back to watching one of my favourite shows, Frasier. It is my favourite way to procrastinate. :P When I happen to be at mine or Dylan's parents' place, I binge-watch Food Network. 

Listening to: I have been listening to a little bit of Christmas music lately, to help me get in the spirit. Although, making up Christmas dances for the kids causes me to not do that very much until dance is over for the break. Haha. I have been listening to a lot of CBC on the radio, whenever I am in the car. Some of the stuff is just so fascinating! 

Loving: The feeling of finishing up my final projects and things. It's also nice to be finished the play that I was in at the end of November. Having some extra time is wonderful, and that extra time can soon be filled with things I want to do, rather than finishing things I have to do. 

Eating: This is a bad one. I need groceries. Badly.

Reading: I just started reading a book that was written by a friend of mine. 

Looking forward to: Christmas! I always love Christmas so much and I get so sad when it's over. But, I am also very much looking forward to the next chapter of my life, once I graduate and receive my B. Ed. What an adventure this-coming year will be! 

Currently...

It has been a very long time since I have blogged here (as usual) but, that's because I had to post on my other blog for school last term. I wasn't feeling very motivated to double-blog.

Anyway, I'm borrowing this from Kerri (thank-you!), so I didn't make it up.

Currently...

Watching: Well...since school started back up again, Dylan and I have not been able to watch our usual Desperate Housewives on Netflix. Since I don't have Netflix, cable, etc. at my place, I can only watch DVDs. Lately, Dylan has been putting on my old Billy Joel music video and concert DVDs, so I have been rediscovering the love for my absolute favourite musician. It causes me to stroll down memory lane in the best of ways, while make me feel a little less stressed at the same time. Wonderful. :)

Listening to: Whenever I drive by myself (which is rather often), I listen to Coffee Break French. It's a series of podcasts that are helping me brush up on my French, so I don't lose any of it. It has also been helping me get back in "French mode," first for my French methods class, but also for my next Pre-Service Teaching placement that starts in March.

Loving: The Strathclair musical so far. We just started a little while ago and it's so nice to be back there. It feels like we just left! It's normally hard for me to do anything even remotely enjoyable because I always know that there's something I need to be doing, rather than enjoying myself, whether it's choreography for work, homework, errands, housework, etc. But, when I'm at rehearsal, I have specific tasks to focus on, so my other work floats out of my brain for a little while.

Eating: Since New Years, I have been careful to eat three meals a day, healthy snacks if necessary, and everything is very healthy. It helps that Dylan's mom bought me a hotplate-type thing, so I can actually cook. :P Before school started, I had time to make stir fry, wholegrain rice with veggies and a quesadilla, etc. But...now my food is a little quicker, but I'm still sticking to the plan!

Reading: I hate to say that I'm actually not reading anything right now. My homework has been revolving around articles and text book stuff, so that's all the reading I'm feeling motivated enough to do. I still have three novels on my shelf that I want to get to soon, though. I think I can get to them in a few months.

Looking forward to: My second placement. It will be hard work again, but I'm excited to get back into it. I'm already not a fan of the projects and stuff that I have done/have to do, so the placement sounds tempting right about now. 

I'm not sure how long it will be until I write another one of these...but I'm sure I will be needing a little break sooner rather than later. :P Sorry if there are errors...I did this as quickly as possible!

Me? Cooking? No way!

This is a little different for me....I'm writing a food post!!

I have been wanting to cook a meal for my boyfriend, Dylan, for a long time, since he almost always does the cooking, but there were a few obstacles standing in my way. Firstly, I didn't want to cook while his roommate was there, just because things get crowded and I kind of wanted the dining experience to be as "date-like" as possible. We have to cook at his place because I only have a toaster oven and no stove at my place. Secondly, I just didn't have the money to spend on all the ingredients I would probably want. Lastly, I knew I would need a day that was feeling well overall, so that I wouldn't easily lose patience and get cranky. Yesterday, everything just kind of fell into place and I ended up cooking a meal that actually turned out to be the best combination of flavours I have ever tasted in my life. I mean, I love food in general, but I haven't even had something I liked more at a "high-class" restaurant. Needless to say, I was quite proud of myself....and the ingredients were actually surprisingly inexpensive!

I decided to look up some healthy recipes online yesterday afternoon. Dylan and I have really gotten into trying to eat healthier, so I knew that I wanted last night's meal to be as healthy as possible.

I found a recipe for Almond- and Lemon-Crusted Fish with Spinach and I figured that I really couldn't go wrong by making that. Fish is one of the healthiest things you can eat and it can be sooooo delicious. I absolutely loved cooking with the fresh ingredients, too...it made it into a fairly relaxing experience, because it was like aromatherapy! Fresh lemon and dill?? Mmm! Here's the ingredients list:

• Zest and juice of 1 lemon, divided
• 1/2 cup sliced almonds, coarsely chopped
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh dill or 1 teaspoon dried
• 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt, divided (I used normal salt)
• Freshly ground pepper to taste
• 1 1/4 pounds cod (see Tip) or halibut, cut into 4 portions (I used cod)
• 4 teaspoons Dijon mustard
• 2 cloves garlic, slivered
• 1 pound baby spinach
• Lemon wedges for garnish

*I used the same bags of spinach and almonds for the fish and the salad*

I'll copy and paste the preparation part too, but I'll add my little notes along the way:

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Coat a rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray. (I had to use vegetable oil to grease the pan, but it worked out just fine!)
2. Combine lemon zest (I used the a fine cheese grater), almonds, dill, 1 tablespoon oil, 1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper in a small bowl. Place fish on the prepared baking sheet and spread each portion with 1 teaspoon mustard. Divide the almond mixture among the portions, pressing it onto the mustard.
   
3. Bake the fish until opaque in the center, about 7 to 9 minutes, depending on thickness. (A combination of frozen fish and my lack of speed at the next step caused this time to be quite a bit longer. I just turned the heat down and the fish was cooked just fine!)
4. Meanwhile, heat the remaining 2 teaspoons oil in a Dutch oven (I used a little cast iron pan...I don't think it matters) over medium heat. Add garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant but not brown, about 30 seconds. Stir in spinach, lemon juice and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt; season with pepper . Cook, stirring often, until the spinach is just wilted, 2 to 4 minutes. Cover to keep warm. Serve the fish with the spinach and lemon wedges, if desired.

Okay, so the last step was a little different from what I did. I knew that we were having spinach salad, so I only used a tiny bit of spinach, quite a bit of garlic, and lemon juice. I put two little spots of that mixture on our plates, more as an aesthetic thing. Haha. It was still tasty. I love garlic.

 The above picture does not do the fish justice. It was so colourful and fresh-looking!

I just kind of kept everything warm while I prepared the rest of the stuff. I made a spinach salad with chopped up strawberries, almonds, and raspberry vinaigrette, as well as (the far less classy) Uncle Ben's Bistro Express Long Grain & Wild Rice - Fine Herbs. Both of those things were not only healthy, but they went along perfectly with the flavours of the fish, in my opinion. I loved how the sweetness of the salad complimented the savoury and lemony taste of the fish topping.

 Man...pictures of food suck. Anyway, that was also very colourful, with the green of the spinach and the bright red of the strawberries! Yum, yum, yum.

I bought a bottle of white Pino Grigio wine to go with our dinner, but we didn't have a corkscrew until it was time for dessert, so we had it after we were finished eating everything. It would have been perfect with the fish, though.

Dessert was simple and also wasn't entirely classy, but at least the presentation wasn't terrible. While Dylan was out buying a corkscrew, I made a (pretty heavy) mousse by combining Jello chocolate pudding and low-fat Cool Whip. It probably would have been lighter if I had have used an electric mixer and if the Cool Whip hadn't been frozen. Anyway, I put a strawberry on top, but we ended up finishing the rest of strawberries, just by dipping them in the mousse and eating them with our wine. Mmmm.

Overall, the meal was a complete success! I won't stop thinking about it for a long, long time. 

Be your own superhero.

Hello, hello!

I don't even know why this busy bee has a blog. I mean, I really do love to write new posts, but I'm having trouble finding the time to write. I hope this whole thing makes sense.

This year has been the most demanding year of my whole life, by far. 

• I had to take 2 overloaded terms, in order to graduate in May (6 courses each), so the homework gets pretty intense sometimes. It's especially hard when I only actually enjoyed 1/6 courses each term.
• I teach 4 nights a week (dance, musical theatre, and Zumba) to pay the bills. I do like my job, but the lesson plans and choreography take up a lot of extra time. 
• I got my first-ever role in a musical, which I absolutely love, but that takes 2 days out of my week, sometimes 3. And, I, unexpectedly ended up choreographing a few complicated numbers for the show. I was out of my comfort zone, because the numbers are waltzes, which I know very little about. But, I glow with pride whenever I see the actors doing my choreography onstage at rehearsal.  

It's the extra stuff doesn't help. This week, all my teaching jobs were gearing up for their final performances, which is more stressful than usual. Newdale Tap & Jazz has their dress rehearsal tonight, their recital tomorrow, and their final performances at Rolling River Festival of the Arts this-coming Tuesday and Wednesday. They always have me as a "guest dancer" at their recital, so I had to relearn and practice one of my dances for the recital. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a space that allows for that! I also help out with recital preparation, such as figuring out the order of the program, coming up with some sort of small finale...this year, I even found time to make a little themed "mashup" of songs to use for their finale.

Alexander Dance Club has their recital this-coming Wednesday night. These dancers have two "sessions" in a year: one before Christmas, and one after Christmas. So, I had to choreograph and teach the dances extra fast in very few weeks, so we could have them just right for recital. 

Mecca Productions has their dress rehearsal on Monday and their final concert on Wednesday. Yep...the same night as Alexander's recital. I hope I can make it back for Mecca's concert, in time for my groups to perform, but I this-past week, I have had Dylan in all my classes (he usually assists with the one, anyway), so he knows which students to look for and what to help them with. Thank goodness for my assistant. :)

The musical I am in had a full weekend rehearsal last weekend, so we were there on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday...and it is the same again this weekend. I'm going to try to make it to my rehearsal after Newdale's dress rehearsal tonight, and I can go to rehearsal before Newdale's recital tomorrow. 

This week had been so crazy that I was forced to ignore a 15-page paper that was due today. So, I stayed up all night last night, finishing my paper at about 7:30 in the morning because that was my only option.

Don't get me wrong, I really do like keeping busy. I thrive off it! But, most of my decisions this year have been based on what is necessary for me to do, not really want I have wanted to do. I know that's how life goes, it's just too bad that I haven't had a day off in a month. Haha.

BUT! I have been looking forward to this-coming Wednesday for weeks because all of my jobs (with the exception of teaching Zumba), wrap up that day. It will be an absolutely crazy day, as I'll be in Rivers for Festival during the day, I'll be in Alexander in the evening, and then I'll be rushing back to Brandon to try and catch Mecca's concert. But, I won't know what to do with all the time I will have afterwards. Oh, wait...final papers and studying for exams! :P That's okay! That just means that I'll feel like I have all the time in the world to do that.

There is a reason why I'm typing all this out, though. I'm not just rambling about how busy I am.

If there is something I have learned about myself, it is that I feel like I really can do the impossible. There have been countless times this year where I have completely broken down. I was even having anxiety problems a few weeks ago. I felt, more than once, that something was not going to get done in time, that it wouldn't be produced with the necessary quality, that there were too many responsibilities on my shoulders, or just that I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I found a way, for the most part, to get everything finished when it needs to be finished, and it is typically of fine quality. In the middle of the night last night, I was completely discouraged. I was only halfway through my paper at about 5:00 a.m. But, I thought about how great I would feel, and how I could reward myself with sleep, once the paper was done. 

Unfortunately, this isn't the only test that has shown me how tough I can really be. But, it's these sorts of tests, where you think there's no way of passing, that shows our true potential. It's okay to lack motivation sometimes, that's not what defines you. It's having to create your own motivation when outside sources aren't providing it that shows your true character.

Maybe I have written a blog like this before, but I don't think it really matters. Everyone needs a good reminder of this point, I know that I do very often. I truly believe that it's possible for everyone to be their own superhero. Go ahead, accomplish something, even if it's small. Make yourself proud. 

A Busy Bee Christmas.

I'm still here, I promise! :)

I feel bad about the fact that my blog often feels like a burden to me. I am always aware that it's just sitting here, waiting for me to post something new all the time. It's like it's nagging at me whenever I turn my computer on! I blame that on the fact that I had to write 5 major papers and a few more minor ones before the break, so my blog felt like it was just another assignment to add to my stack of work. I'd have to come up with a topic, then stare at my computer screen while I created something that would pass as clever. 

(Funny thing, I'm supposed to be doing another major paper, that's due on January 4th. But..uh..I'm not. Obviously.)

Whine, whine, whine.

Anyways, I love Christmas and everything leading up to it (sure, shopping for gifts is always very stressful for me, but I do like giving). One of the worst feelings in the world, though, is when I realize that Christmas is over once again. It comes and goes so quickly each year! But, some of the best feelings come from looking back on each Christmas, and remembering why I always love it as much as I do.

Before this starts, though, let me just say that I placed the pictures ever-so-nicely, only to realize that they don't show up that way after I publish the post. Grr. It took me so long too! Never again am I doing a post like this. But, you know...enjoy!

This year, I came home to my parents house on December 21st, after a long day of shopping.

The drive from my current location to my hometown is only 20 minutes, but I enjoyed every second of it! The hoarfrost was so thick on every tree and wire, which made for some beautiful scenery! 

We had a very white Christmas this year, which always puts me in the Christmas spirit! The photo above is what our backyard looked like when I arrived home.

Speaking of being in the Christmas spirit, my mom did a wonderful job of decorating the house. Garland, lights, angels, candy canes, bows, and the Christmas tree (and the dogs, of course) greeted me right when I got to the house!

                   

             

I was already excited to come home, but seeing all of the decorations filled me with the warmest of feelings! I always remember decorating the house with Mom, listening to Christmas music, while picking out ornaments and putting them on the tree. I got some well need relaxation time that night, and I could not remember the last time I had felt so content!

On December 22nd, my two sisters and I had appointments to get our tattoos. We had the appointments booked for over a month, and we were all very excited, and just a little bit nervous to actually get them done. We are all very happy with how they turned out!

My oldest sister came up with idea for us to form the letters of our first names in sign language for the picture. The black triangle represents our birth order (I'm on the right, and I'm the youngest).

On December 23rd, I had a lot going on! First, I went with my mom and dad to the Tarbolton district, where my mom's side of the family lives. We helped the other members of the community decorate the old country church, where our Christmas Eve service is held each year. After we finished that, my family and I jumped on the back of "Ol' Blue" and headed to the field in which we went tobogganing, singing Christmas carols on the way. I only got to go down the hill a few times, but it was still a blast! It was freeeeeezing, though!

My cousins's boyfriend, my two cousins, and my aunt.

One of the many pictures I took before I had to leave. ----------------------------------------->

After about an hour drive, I wound up at my Dylan's parents' place, where his family was expecting me for supper. We ate, played a gift exchanging game, and then played a game of "Chase the Ace". Once everyone left, Dylan and I exchanged one gift each, and left the others for Boxing Day. 

The bag was almost as big as me! Inside of it was an extremely comfy pillow that I LOVE (not quite as much as him). :)

The next day, Christmas Eve, my family and I headed back out to the Tarbolton church in the evening. It has been a tradition for 14 years that my sisters and I sing at the service and, this year, my oldest sister and I sang "A Holly Jolly Christmas" with, what we call, a "Tarbolton Twist" (that's where I change up the words to a song that everyone knows to make it all about Tarbolton). We had a great time, as we always do. The Tarbolton Christmas Eve Service is such a huge part of my life and I can't imagine the holiday season without it! It makes my Christmas what it is and I always look forward to going.

Beautiful candles, huh? Can you tell that their fake? :P

<-------------------

My cousins, showcasing their talents at the service (singing and playing the violin).

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My family always starts Christmas Day rather late. We sleep in, eat, shower, wait for the other sister/daughter to come along, we visit, and then we start opening gifts. We had a wonderful morning and afternoon, filled with giving, receiving, love, and thankfulness. I absolutely adore having my family together. It's not ever day that we can all be together, as my oldest sister lives about 4 hours away, and we all have very busy schedules to work around. But, we all love being together as a family, and our Christmas was, I'm sure, more than we all could have asked for. One of my grandmas and two of my uncles came over for a delicious supper. We all opened Christmas Crackers, visited, and watched the "Pawn Stars" marathon. ;)

As I mentioned, Dylan and I exchanged our gifts on Boxing Day. It is extremely hard for us to be apart during the holidays, since we are so used to being together during the rest of year. It seems unfair that we can share each day together, except for holidays, usually, but our reunions are so wonderful, since we miss each other so much. Dylan got me some very, very fantastic gifts and I was so thankful to be able to be with him and give him the gifts that I got for him. We spent Boxing Day and most of December 27th together in pure contentment. We are both very much looking forward to the New Year, when we can continue to grow as individuals and as a couple, and accomplish even more than we did in 2012. I am so extremely thankful for, in no particular order, my family, my closest friends, and my Dylan, as well as all of the opportunities I have. This busy bee feels so blessed to have everything and everyone that she has in her life. Thank you for being a part of my 2012, and I hope you look forward to 2013 as much as I do!!

My to-do list.

Along with a lot of other people around me, I have been feeling a ton of pressure pushing on me from many different directions these days.

Naturally, since this is often how this time of year works in the life of a student, I am trying to fight to complete many different assignments that are due before the Christmas break...however, I find myself procrastinating because I don't know where to begin (reading, presentation, presentation, essay, essay, reading, reading, paper proposal, essay, essay, presentation, essay, or research assignment...)! I'm really starting to feel my overloaded term right about now. 

In my life as a dance (and "musical theatre combo class"...and Zumba... and "Pop Stars") teacher, I am expected to have all of lesson plans sorted out (which is totally natural), and I'm expected to start all the routines and Christmas songs for the students to perform in a few weeks/months. So, I have to prepare for all of these classes between my own classes. That's okay. I can handle that....I think!

Somewhere in there, I attempt to remind my friends that I really don't hate them, I'm just a hermit!

And, on the side, I am waiting on pins and needles to hear back from an audition for a musical that I so bravely slugged through yesterday. (It really wasn't that bad...I'm just a wreck when it comes to singing in front of people sometimes.)

So, as you may be able to believe, my to-do list is quite a bit longer than the one above. The only reason why I'm writing this post is because it has been on my actual to-do list for weeks! But, after I saw the much lovelier to-do list on Facebook this morning (Thanks for posting, Lisa), I felt myself feeling a little bit more calm about the pressures that I'm currently facing.

Count my blessings: 

Even though I am quite cranky these days (including right now), I really am thankful for my wonderfully caring boyfriend, my fabulous friends, and my lovely family. I am thankful that I have all the opportunities that I have, and that I live in an all-around safe city, in a safe province, in a safe country. I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

Practice kindness:

I really do try to live by the phrase, "treat others the way you would like to be treated". I try to do at least one kind thing for someone each day, if I can. Even something as small as stopping my car to let a pedestrian cross the street, letting a car into the lane ahead of me, holding the door open for someone, picking up someone's pen when they drop it...I don't know! Doing those sorts of things makes me feel like a good human being...and that's a good feeling.

Let go of what I can't control:

This one is probably one of the hardest ones for me, and I don't know why. I spend a lot of time wishing that I could control certain things that either no one can control, or that someone else in charge of. I probably spend a lot of time reminding myself that I can't control whatever I am worried about. All I can do is be the best person I can be, the best student, the best teacher, the best girlfriend, the best friend, the best colleague, the best daughter, etc. Sometimes, I (and I'm sure a lot of others do too) lose sight of this, whether I am worried about what I can't control, or whether I am not doing well at what I can control. Either way, this is something I can and will work on more and more. 

Listen to my heart:

Sometimes, we are all driven by what we think other people want us to do, or what other people think we should do. If you listen to your heart (your gut, your feelings...whatever), you will feel so much better with what you decide to do. Even if it's something minor.

Be productive, yet calm:

I find that I can't be truly productive if I'm not calm. So, these things go hand in hand for me! 

Just breathe:

I think we all have to take more of these moments in a day, just to relax for a few seconds and take that four second inhale, four second exhale that I mentioned in one of my previous blogs (I think...). My boyfriend likes to make fun of me a bit when I get a little riled up about something small, saying "let me just look outside to see if the world ended....nope" (jerk :P). But, seriously, that is what we need. We need to realize that what we're stressing over really isn't as big as we think it is. Breathe, then let it go. 

You should do what I just did! Go through this "to-do list" and remind yourself of these steps. It might make you feel just a little bit lighter! 

A tad sad.

Just as heads up, this post is a tad depressing. It's not like my usual posts, so I didn't really write it for the reader in mind this time (except for the ending). I just figured that typing this out will help me feel a little less sad.

In the summertime, Dylan, my boyfriend, had made me a promise that once we both moved back to the city for school, he was going to buy me a rabbit. Three and a half weeks ago, after a bit of a discussion, I decided that I wanted Dylan to bring home one of the two rabbits bigger rabbits that had been at the pet store for a few months. I had forgotten these rabbits looked like, so I was pleasantly surprised and immediately attached when Dylan took a very adorable, floppy-eared bunny out of the box that he brought it home in. I named her Pokey.

I got a big dog kennel from my parents' house and made a "bunny mansion" out of it. I made sure that my wonderful pet always had plenty of hay, veggies, and fruit, so she would never get too hungry. She loved to be let out of her cage, so she could wander around my suite, jumping up on everything she could, so she could get the best view of the room. As she got even more used to me, she would jump up on the couch to visit me, or sit in the dust pan as I was cleaning her cage. It would make me so happy to just come home and peek in on her cage when I got home, rescue her from the top of the stairs (she was too scared to come down herself), or to watch her discover new things around my suite.

Yesterday, I came home and saw that something was wrong with my cute little floppy-eared Pokey. She hadn't touched the food I had put in her cage the night before (which was very, very unusual for her), and she was barely breathing. I took her out of her cage, Dylan and I gave her a warm bath in the sink (my sister saved one of my pet mice that way once), wrapped her in a towel to keep her warm, and I snuggled with her. Dylan called the vet and we took her there as soon as we could. Pokey would move every once in a while and she felt warm in the towel, so I had a bit of hope that we could be bringing her back home. After being taken to the back of the vet's office by the nurses, the vet met with us to tell us that Pokey wasn't going to make it. She told us that my little bunny was far too skinny, barely responsive to anything, and was 5 degrees colder than she should have been. She explained that rabbits are great at hiding illness, and after we told her that Pokey ate very, very often, the vet decided that Pokey must have had an internal issue that would not allow her to absorb food and nutrients. Our only option was to have her put down.

It wasn't enough that I had to leave my rabbit forever, so after paying $90 to have her put down and cremated, Dylan and I came back to my place.

I was quite broken up about it, which I didn't expect. If I had have read this sort of thing from someone else a little while ago, I wouldn't have been able to really take it seriously. I have seen many hamsters come and go, I buried a different rabbit last year, etc...but I wasn't terribly sad about those other pets. I always saw the small pets to be on a completely different level than cats and dogs. I'm not sure what's different about the death of this "small pet". Maybe it's because I wasn't prepared for it, maybe it's because I knew Pokey should have had a longer life span, maybe it's because I know I was taking such good care of her, maybe it's because she didn't just die naturally, or maybe it's because she was the little furball that kept me company when I had to be cooped up in my suite by myself. I don't know...but, either way, it will take me a little while to get over not having her around. At least I know that she was warm, cozy, and safe in my arms for a little bit, and that I was able to give her as much attention and love as possible. I just hope she was feeling peaceful and comfortable enough as she died.

I was right. Typing this out did help me. I think I can look back on this sometime and feel happy about the little bit of life Pokey did have and the little bit of time she could spend with me. If you did read this, I recommend that if you ever have something that makes you sad, type it out (or write it out), just like I did. Go through the whole situation...the good things and the bad things. Write about what made you happy and why you think it made you happy, and/or what made you sad and why you think it made you sad. It should give you a better understanding of yourself, and maybe it will help to relieve your feelings a little bit, whatever they might be.

The calm before the storm.

It's that time of year again! The time when my "busy bee" label fits just right.

This may not be the same for others, but I find that I rarely remember the fall season each year. I remember the beginnings of the school year and all other activities and things...but I can't really remember the leaves changing colour and falling off the trees, or that patch of different weather between +30 and -40. I get another year older in there somewhere, too... Honestly, it seems like just a normal thing to have the fall season fly by faster than I can say "please stop, I'm ripping my hair out". 

I remember saying last night, when I got home from my 6 day road trip, that I really wish I could have two full days before school starts, rather than just one, so I could have more than enough time to tackle my pesky to-do list and to get all prepared for getting "back to the grindstone". After having a migraine all day and just feeling terrible in general, I only get to feeling better after suppertime. On top of feeling completely under the weather, I was also feeling frustrated. I had so much to do today, and very little time to do it. Of course it would be my health that was the one obstacle for me today. That rarely happens. I tend to be able to work around being sick, but not this time. It wasn't until mid-afternoon that I finally came to terms with the fact that there was nothing I could do about my health, except rest and drink plenty of water.

Then, I came to a wonderful realization. Today was one of the best days I have had in a very long time, because I could spend it feeling completely stress-free (after a while) with my loving boyfriend. We are in the middle of starting a new chapter and there really isn't anything in the world I needed more today than spending that time with him, feeling how much love he has for me, and having him taking care of me. He was still able to get his work done, will I snuggled in and felt completely at peace. Those are the types of moments we live for, aren't they? As much as being productive is certainly something that is needed most days, we still need to soak up the little moments in life too.

So, always look for those little blessings in disguise because I certainly had one of those today. My body was just forcing me to slow down and enjoy some beautiful moments, since I clearly wasn't planning on doing it on my own. 

Loosening the brain vice.

I have always been the kind of person that just has to be going all the time (while still being just a little bit lazy...how does that work). Thinking ahead to what I have to get done, thinking of the most efficient way that I can get my tasks completed, thinking about what I can get accomplished now, so I don't have to worry about it when I'm swamped enough during the school year, etc., etc., etc....That's all part of being a Busy Bee, after all. But, my thoughts are always zipping around at the speed of light. Sometimes, I even have trouble trying to remember what I wanted to put on my list of things to remember! It can really be quite exhausting. The thoughts just race each other while spinning and fluttering around each other. They keep going and going and going until....

I'm all tuckered out!

Okay. I know I probably sound just a wee bit crazy. It's not like I have a problem focusing, 'cause I don't, unless I'm tired, but who doesn't have that problem? My brain just never really stops working, which I think is pretty apparent to those who know me. My thing is that pretty much everything is thought-provoking to me. From the things that people say and/or do, to things that the typical person wouldn't normally give any thought to in a day, and everything in between. I can honestly find the simplest things to be fascinating. Take for example, a rock. Yeah....a rock. I can pick up a rock and think of how amazing it would be if I were able to see what the rock has "seen". I think about how long the rock has been there, where it was before it ended up in my hands, and if it were at the bottom of the huge lake that is now Manitoba. You might laugh, but this is how life really is for me! Some may see a commercial on T.V. and think absolutely nothing of it. As for me, I think of how much money would have gone into making the commercial, how many people were involved in the process of creating the commercial, and why the company chose that particular commercial to advertise their product, when there were probably many other options to choose from. 

It's not like this every second of every day, but this gives you a little glimpse of what sort of things happen in this head of mine. So, the whole point of this post (there's always a point, after all) is to remind myself, and everyone else, to quiet the brain down a little bit, every once in a while. I can just tilt my head back, close my eyes for a while, breathe deeply, focus on that breathing, heave a few sighs, sometimes I clench and relax my muscles, and then I feel like my brain is coming out of a giant vice. Try it! You don't have to follow the "instructions" or anything, as these are just a few suggestions that have helped me out before. I am certainly not the expert in this, as I very rarely do this sort of thing. But, as I make a vow that I will do this far more often, for my own physical and mental health, I encourage you to join me. What could it hurt, right? Let's take more time to relax and calm down, maybe take some time to go pick up some rocks to think about (=P). There. That's the Brittany version of "stopping to smell the flowers/roses". We would all feel so much better if we relax a little more, and that causes one of the best possible chain reactions. Enjoy!

Once upon a time, there was a canoe...

It feels great to be back to "busy bee" status recently. My summer job has gone from being totally boring to extremely busy, as I work towards being able to close my office for the summer. I took a road trip with my dad to Fargo, N.D. last Friday, where I became a licensed Zumba instructor Saturday, and, Sunday, my lovely friend and I had an unexpected situation, involving a canoe. That's where the post actually begins. Get ready for a story! It has a nice point, though, I promise.

So, the aforementioned friend and I decided that we wanted to have some sort of a "beach day". She had never gone canoeing before, so we figured that coming to my family's campsite and going canoeing on the lake was a great way to pass a Sunday afternoon. I was very exhausted from the Zumba training I did the day before, so a relaxing canoe ride sounded even lovelier as the plans were made. 

We headed to the campsite, my dad got the canoe all ready to go, and we started our little journey, oars in hand. We rowed a little bit, for fun (my friend was so excited because she felt like Pocahontas), then decided we were just going to float and drift for a while. After a nice, long chat on the lake, we decided that it was probably time to get back. When we went to dip our oars back in the water, we realized how far away we actually were, from our starting point. It was alright, at first. We would paddle a little bit, then rest and talk...then paddle some more. The waves were starting to get pretty big, for a lake, which we didn't really think much of, since there were a few boats that had been zooming around us. One even stopped to ask if we needed help, but I politely declined. 

By the time that our attention was fully drawn to getting ourselves back to shore, we didn't really know where the shore was. Once we decided what direction we had to go, we realized how windy it had become. This strong wind was blowing us away from our destination, and the waves this wind had created were also putting us off-course. My friend and I rowed and rowed and rowed, but it didn't seem like we were getting any closer to our journey's end. The ever-growing frustration expanded when the wind blew us ashore, causing us to exert ourselves, even more than we had been, to get us back on-course. This happened a second time too, which made our efforts seem even more fruitless. Our arms were aching and becoming less and less functional, and we were incredibly parched, but if we stopped for even a second to rest our weary limbs, the wind would blow us back to where we had been moments before. We rowed as hard and fast as we could. Once I caught a glimpse of the shore we wanted to get to, we just had to keep telling ourselves that we were "almost there". After an extremely long time of rowing in frustrated, determined silence, we got back to shore, where my dad was waiting, laughing at us. It turned out that he had asked the people on the boat that had stopped, to check on us, so he knew we were okay. 

All was well. We re-hydrated, bought some ice cream, and went home to relax.  

There was certainly a point where I had almost given up. That doesn't happen very often with me, since I'm terribly stubborn, but I was trying to think of an easier way we could get back to the dock that didn't involve the way we ended up getting there, in the end. But, I came up short. There was no other way. 

Basically, the point to this story is: no matter how exhausting and frustrating that journey was, and how hopeless it seemed to be, our goal was still achieved. Sometimes, you may have to do things the hard way to achieve the best results, or the only results. You may have to go through frustration, anger, exhaustion, sadness, or what have you, to reach your desired destination. No matter how hopeless your journey may seem, though, if you are really willing to work hard to get to your destination, you will always come out with your head above the water. Let's face it, rewards are so much more appreciated if you have to work a little bit to get them, right?

In response to a comment

Before I get into writing more blog posts, I would like to address a comment, by "Rainbow Addict" that was left on my post "Optimism and realism, working hand in hand!". The reason why I am addressing it on a post, and not just by comment, is just because others may have similar thoughts. Here is the comment:

"Good and bad are relative to your own perspective, culture and your genetics. Humans are born with a basic feeling of empathy, so it is bad to hurt others. However, the python that you've lovingly raised to seven feet long is thinking how good it will be when he finally eats you. Is he evil? I think not. We only have good and evil because we are social animals (a dog feels pain if he/she hurts the pack or does something the alpha decides is 'bad' and feels good when the pack is happy) however a snake or a reptile would only feel pleasant vs. unpleasant. It would be very pleasant he thinks, to eat your chihuahua, even if it is an unusually sweet and obedient one. The world isn't harsh, it just is."

Thanks for your input, as this is a good point. I am very aware of the point you are stating, actually. In fact, many of the themes I have studied in my literature classes revolve around this very point (good wouldn't exist without evil and vice versa). However, I'm not 100% sure if this is trying to work against my post, or with it, or if it's just a neutral statement. As you said, "good and bad are relative to your own perspective...", so saying "the world isn't harsh, it just is" is simply your perspective. So, thanks for adding your perspective after I gave mine. That adds for the readers to put in some extra thought, which I like. My perspective is stemming from Optimism vs. Reality, which was the theme of my post. In my mind, someone who is purely an optimist, who does not have a good sense of reality, would see the world as a flawlessly beautiful place, with people that are all "good", nothing can possibly lead to disappointment, and there is no such thing as an obstacle. I'm not sure if there are people like that out there, but that's where my word choice came in. From my perspective, the world is "harsh" because of the fact that "not everyone in is good" and " not every situation can or will lead to a happy ending" (as mentioned in my post), as well as the fact that the stronger people (intellectually, physically, etc.) will have a greater chance at succeeding in life than the weak (the whole Natural Selection/survival of the fittest argument). My choice of using the word "harsh" comes from the large contrast between pure optimism and that of "harsh reality". Thank you for taking time to comment, though. I will admit that my posts are not thought out well in advance or anything. I just sit down and type, so it's more like typed out pondering, or whatever else is going around in my head that I feel like sharing! I hope this all makes sense to everyone!

I will be adding another post of a different topic shortly. 

Optimism and realism, working hand in hand!

You know, I realize how annoying optimism must be the eternal pessimists out there. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. You're looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses/eyes. You don't know what the real world is like". I understand why that attitude exists. However, I am not only an optimist, I am also a realist. I totally get that the world is quite a harsh place. Not everyone in it is good. Not every situation can or will lead to a happy ending. But, I do believe that with every negative point you find in anything, there is typically a positive flip-side. Try it! You can be sure to either annoy the heck out of the pessimists or help out your friends. Either way, you have fun and there's no harm. ;) I find that my optimistic statements tend to start with "at least...". Like this: "I got a ketchup stain on my new white pants!" "At least the stain will come out if you attack it with a bunch of wet napkins for an hour and half." (My Saturday morning experience, as Dylan and I were heading to Portage.) Okay, maybe not exactly like that. But, there really is a positive side to most things, it just takes a second to expose it sometimes! I understand that the world is not all unicorns and butterflies, but it's not all death and destruction either. I just choose to see the beauty and opportunity of the world, but that doesn't mean I'm avoiding the bad things and pretending that it's all going to go away. Optimism and realism can work together!

My brain has now turned to mush. I guess that's it for today!

It's not so bad...

Life is never as bad as it seems, do you notice that? No matter how much you're dreading something...it's never that bad! In fact, the day you're dreading can end up causing you to feel quite good about yourself, in the end.

Take today, for example: I was really not looking forward to today at all. I hate to admit it, but I was definitely dreading it. I really hate finding that I'm dreading my days. It makes me feel like I'm wishing my life away, and I don't like doing that either. Life's too short as it is. But, I had that Sunday night feeling of wanting to hang on for dear life to what was left of my weekend, knowing full well that I had a lot on my plate the next day. And, well, the "Monday Blues" are inevitable. To-do lists, in my opinion, are one of the best "inventions" ever. Once I sat down and wrote one for myself, the day seemed a lot less scary. It started to become more of an organized list of mini-goals to achieve, rather than a big pit of tangled, twisted objects to sort out, one by one. I actually love being busy, rather than bored, so I ended up rather enjoying the first half of my day quite a lot. It  helps to have a fantastic friend who keeps me company on Facebook every day and a loving boyfriend to send long e-mails to.

But, after tackling the things I had set out to tackle this workday, I feel a great sense of accomplishment. There are more things that I wasn't really looking forward to this week, but I am looking at them now through a new attitude of positive determination. They will happen. And they will be successful.

It's funny how that works. I find that, for me, being pessimistic is so much easier than being optimistic. Once you think one negative thought, you just end up being like a big ball of tape, rolling down a hill. You collect so much momentum and dirt, you become harder and harder to control until you hit an obstacle and you stop dead in your tracks, unmoving, with no more energy left, and nowhere else to go. A negative state of mind is an easy place to stay in. Optimism, I find, is the opposite way. You have to find the energy to climb that hill, shed all the dirt that you've collected, be determined enough to keep going, and then, after all your efforts, you finally reach the top. But, think about it...isn't standing on top of the hill, looking at how far you've climbed, much more rewarding than looking at how far you've fallen? I think so. And that's why, after the feeling of dread I was experiencing yesterday, I am now feeling like I am standing on top of a hill, looking from my wonderful vantage point at what is coming, and being ready to take on whatever is approaching.

Life is never as bad as it seems, do you notice that?

Inspiration From Others, Yourself, and Me!

In the past few days, I have been looking at blogs here and there that have been posted by people from totally different walks of life. I find it very interesting how, no matter how different people's lives can be; no matter how different the experiences, inspirations, goals, etc., they can still put together something that they wish to be shared with others, to spread some sort of message or point. (I have a feeling that would be one of those moments where a certain English prof. would have written "improper use of ;". Forgive me if I used that incorrectly. Anyways...) I have read about things from life-changing trips across the world to teach English, to experiences that a beautiful family has from day to day, and even someone's thoughts and emotions as they continue on the road to forgiving someone who sexually assaulted them.

No matter how different the messages and points are that come out of these blogs that I have been reading, I find myself feeling even more inspired in my own life because of them. Inspired continue to try to make a difference in the lives of others, inspired to achieve the goals I have set for myself, and inspired to continue on my path to keep forgiving those who have done me wrong in the past. I am fiercely motivated to continue to be the best person I can be. I know it sounds cheesy, but it makes me feel more purposeful and keeps me looking forward to what is coming in my life.

I have been keeping a journal since the beginning of my summer break from school. I look back to the very first entry, and I start to feel very proud of myself for overcoming all that I have since then. I know that my bad experiences don't come close to the sufferings of others, but I am still proud of what I have learned, even in the 3 months since my first entry of the break. I have learned that I am the best person to rely on 100% of the time. I trust my judgement, even when others may not. I am ready to deal with what ever else life decides to throw at me, in the most responsible, sensible way possible.

I don't say these things about myself to seem cocky or full of myself. I say them to show that I'm no longer afraid of my own decisions, my judgement, or anything else. Those fears developed because of the lack of faith other people had in me. Once someone develops faith in themselves, a lot of insecurities can go away, and that's a beautiful feeling.

I guess my point here is that I wish that people could become their own heroes and heroines. Be happy and excited to be your own person and live your own lives. I hear too much of "I wish I had this.." and "I wish I were someone else". My wish is that people could be satisfied and happy in their own lives. Life is what you make it...make it something fabulous!

I guess that's all for my first blog entry. If there are any errors, forgive me, as I'm now distracted by the T.V.

Love, love, love!